Paul declared, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).
While having a can-do attitude is certainly vital in a can’t-do world, if it is not coupled with an awareness of our God-given limitations, it is a sure recipe for disappointment. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). And anyone acquainted with it, knows how toxic the stuff is.
There are many things I can’t do … no matter how much faith I have.
For one, I cannot fly – no matter how hard I flap my arms. “Come on, don’t be silly …”
Okay, okay … some real world issues then.
I cannot be an evangelist despite my youthful desire to emulate an evangelist who God used to inspire my life1. Even though I know I have a gift to teach, I cannot be a Bob Mumford (even if I parrot all his messages)2.
And if you’re sick in hospitable and need comfort, don’t call me! I score -0.00 on any scale when it comes to having a gift of mercy. And when it comes to that expression of this gift that is able to translate God’s compassion into acts of comfort for the sick or traumatised, my score is in the dark red.
I admire those who can; in fact, I’m inspired by their ability to do so. But I’ve been known to stand in the odd bedpan, get entangled in a drip or two and when I say, “So … uhhh … how are you?” the obvious grimace on the one I’m trying to comfort speaks louder than the words: “Duh! What do you think, me being in hospital and all? Get off the bed; you’re sitting on my crocked leg!”
Hey, if my friend is admitted to hospital, I’ll be there – even though I may add to his woes. But this is not something that I’m going to be good at … ever. It’s not something that I’m ever going to ace with an air of grace.
In fact, there are many, many good things I cannot do or be. But here is the point, I’m not supposed to3. (By the way, I think it is worth checking out this footnote).
In my opinion, too much gift-projection occurs in our world (whether this is in the business, church ministry, political or sports arena) which results in grave stereotyping and the inevitable fallout of chronic disappointment that we’re looking at in this article – and the trio of articles under this theme4.
What do I mean by gift-projection?
We type-cast what it means to be a successful “whatever” (business person, church leader … anything) – failing to realise that their success is in large part due to their unique gift-mix – and then we project this image of success onto others who don’t have their gift-set (despite that they may, in fact, work just as hard5). We expect them to attain the same success even though they are wired very differently. As a famous little parable put it; it’s like to expecting a duck to climb trees and a squirrel to tread water.
Books are written and seminars are delivered in the name of “Because I did it, so can you!” and while “profits” – financial and otherwise – are made by the “successful” guru (which makes each successive book and seminar even more ‘untouchable’), disappointment for most is off the charts. Ironically, we then pay good money to deepen our sense of despair.
God had given each of us gifts and strengths. The God who gave the duck and squirrel the “equipment” to be what they are has given you the “equipment” you need to be you.
However, along with this God-given “toolbox” come God-allowed limitations. In fact, Paul’s teachings in Romans 12:3-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:1-31 speaks as much into our limitations as about our gifts.
Both these passages are often used today to encourage believers to find their gifts. While this is certainly valid, it seems to me that Paul’s emphasis was different. He focused on the metaphor of the “body” and the importance of its “parts” (“members”) finding meaning within the “whole”. That is, while we ought to certainly accept the gifts God has given us, the point is to learn to appreciate others and the gifts they have – recognising what we don’t have and acknowledging our interdependence on others.
Paul exhorted us to “not think of [ourselves] more highly than [we] ought to think” (Romans 12:3). Yes, there may be some validity to the argument that many think too lowly of themselves and an understanding of their gifts may help them to shed a “worm” complex. Personally I believe that a good spiritual family that values and practices affirmation and admonishment – usually in ratio of around 10:1 – will (lovingly) squash any “worm” mentalities. Too often, in my experience, a focus on discovering “the gifts” through a me-centred program spins a cocoon from with an inflated ego hatches6.
Paul called us to “think soberly” about ourselves and he clarifies the context of this sober assessment: “we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another” (vv. 3-5).
In other words, for clarity sake, Paul’s teaching on the gifts is more about learning to appreciate our need of others – and by implication, accepting our own limitations – than it is about “getting our gifts working”.
Discovering our gifts and strengths happens in two main ways. First, an honest personal inventory in which we prayerfully reflect on our lives7. Second, and more objectively, inviting the counsel of others into our lives; especially those with whom we walk together in spiritual community.
These are those brothers and sisters (and fathers and mothers) who know us personally and who can affirm us in love and truth. While doing a spiritual gifts course may have some merit; it can never replace the affirmation from those living in community with us, who seek our best. Even if – when, is probably more truthful – this means curtailing our ego or, at the very least, our subjective assessment of ourselves.
In one survey of the most popular Bible verses, Philippians 4:13 came in third place8. But what did Paul mean when he stated: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”?
Contrary to so much “I can” teaching, he did not mean …
- you can have whatever you want, or
- be whatever you desire, or
- achieve whatever you really set your mind to
– IF you pray enough, give enough, do enough … blah, blah, blah.
Paul’s context is, amazingly, the subject of contentment. (Most people are absolutely flabbergasted that they haven’t seen this before). Ironically, the above “do more” philosophy does guarantee one thing: discontentment!
To the church community in Philippi, people very dear to him, Paul spoke honestly about his challenges; explaining that he experienced both seasons of abundance and suffered periods of lack:
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13)
Despite every challenge, being stretched to the max – he was grateful for God’s mercy. In the face of much blessing, enjoying success – he was thankful for God’s grace. In all things, Paul learnt to be content9. And he could only do so through Christ’s strength.
Thus, in spite of the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs; Paul learnt to be content. And – here is what he meant – in Christ’s strength he was able to do this regardless of his personal and circumstantial limitations.
Am I against having a positive attitude? Certainly not! Nothing is more defeating than a negative attitude. A negative Christian is a contradiction in terms. Like a painless pregnancy or a safe nuclear bomb. But there is nothing positive in believing a lie.
If I buy the lie that I can do anything I want – without being honest about my God-allowed limitations – I am doomed to disappointment and despair. And there is nothing positive about depression.
When David heard about Goliath he didn’t deny the existence of the giant with an air-head attempt at being positive: “What giant? I don’t receive this negative report!” Instead, with a real and robust faith, David said, “There is a giant alright and … he’s big! But my God is bigger!”
David wasn’t the least bit negative … but his positive attitude was rooted in reality, both the present circumstance he faced – yes, there is a giant; yes, I have the flu; yes, I’m financially in the red – and the more substantial reality of God’s ability – YES! God is bigger; YES! God is my healer; YES! God is able to deliver me from debt as I bring my thinking and accounting into line with His.
With a healthy understanding of the “toolbox” God has given us – including a humble acceptance of our limitations – we can do all God has called us to.
This will mean that – at many points on my journey – I’ll have to dig deeper than I think I’m capable of in order to break through preconceived misconceptions that would otherwise be a barrier to growth and progress in Christ. (Accepting my personal limitations does not mean I accept mediocrity; where “whatever” becomes my perpetual resignation from life).
But because of a healthy understanding of who I am and who I’m not – strengthened by a spiritual community who are committed to me in love for excellence – there are many, many things I know I cannot do.
In these things, I need you … and the rest of the Body of Christ.
Notes:
1 Yes, of course, I can do the “work of an evangelist” (2 Timothy 4:5); that is, we’re all responsible for the task of evangelism. But the gift of an evangelist is a wonderful God-given grace that He gives for some to equip those – like me – who don’t have the gift. Their faithful use of this gift enables us all to be more responsible in the work.
2 While I’m confident that God has given me a gift to teach, there are also different measures of this gift. And I’m content that I am at the low end of this spectrum. This understanding gives me great freedom to be the best I can be in the grace I’ve been given. I don’t need to compare or compete with others.
3 Yes, it is important that we grow in the various responsibilities as a mature believer. Every gift of God has a corresponding Christian responsibility. Some are gifted to evangelise (Ephesians 4:11); we’re all called to evangelism. Some have gifts to serve (Romans 12:7); we’re all called to serve. Some are gifted leaders (Romans 12:8); we’re all called to lead others as examples. Some are gifted teachers (Ephesians 4:11; Romans 12:7); we’re all called to teach through our life and influence. Some have gifts of mercy (Romans 12:8); we’re all called to show mercy. And so on.
Maturity means that we grow more responsible in all these areas – often as we learn from, and catch the grace of, those who are gifted in them. Yes, even I’ve learnt better hospital visitation manners over the years. A mature believer doesn’t back off from what they should do by playing the “that’s not my gift” card.
But this does not negate the fact that while we all have some gifts, we have numerous limitations in the areas we are not gifted in.
4 The other articles in this series (and there is no particular order to them):
I can’t get no satisfaction
http://soulrecharge.wordpress.com/2011/12/04/i-cant-get-no-satisfaction/
I’m not that special
http://soulrecharge.wordpress.com/2011/12/04/im-not-that-special/
The article, “I can’t get no satisfaction” could probably be seen as the main article and it therefore contains content twice the length of the other two.
5 I make this qualification – “despite that they may, in fact, work just as hard” – because the successful person, in cases such as this, often attributes their fruitfulness to their own hard work rather than acknowledging their God-given abilities. For sure, they may have worked hard – fruitfulness does require putting in a good shift – but often those wanting to learn from the successful person work just as hard. However, they will never enjoy the fruitfulness in the same area (or to the same degree) if they have a different set of gifts (and their own set of limitations). They will, however, be fruitful in the area which aligns with their own gift mix as they labour in the strength the Lord gives.
6 Yes, this doesn’t have to be the case. Doing a gifts course in the context of a healthy spiritual community can be a very fruitful exercise. My point is – first, nurture a healthy community; then, as a community, use what resources are available to facilitate meaningful dialogue around this subject.
7 These four questions have helped many in the process of taking a (regular) personal inventory:
1> What am I motivated to do? (You don’t have to ‘psyche’ yourself up for it).
2> What seems to come naturally to me? (It’s relatively easy; there’s no struggle).
3> Where can I distinguish clear fruit from my actions? (There are results).
4> What do I do that strengthens and fulfils me? (You’re not drained from it).
8 In first place, and no surprise, was John 3:16. “God helps those who help themselves” came in at second. Of course, this is not a Bible verse but a statement popularised by Benjamin Franklin.
9 Notice, contentment is learnt behaviour! We cannot get it from a book, a formula, a spiritual discipline, a prayer, etc. etc. We learn contentment while processing what we go through – highs and lows – from Father God’s perspective, seeking His counsel through personal relationship with Him and communal life with others.
That’s one smart cookie